


All My Girls

by PuddlesofPupcake



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: Based on 6.1, Basically, Everything is happy, F/F, and then everything is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 18:36:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9455315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuddlesofPupcake/pseuds/PuddlesofPupcake
Summary: 'I've lost track of how many times you've crept into my room now. I never tire of looking for the look upon your face. Is it going to be excited Pats,or happy Pats? Sad Pats, or troubled Pats? And I love all of those girls.'Based on their little scene together at the end of season 6 episode 1.A.K.A- I am trash for Delia calling Patsy 'Patience'.





	

_I've lost track of how many times you've crept into my room now. I never tire of looking for the look upon your face._

 

***

Excited Pats

  
'Mam could never say I'm not safe here,' Delia mused as she stretched out on the relatively firm bed. Surrounded by nuns and trained nurses, she honestly couldn't think of a better place to be whilst she was still so 'fragile' as her mother insisted on putting it. Still, better to appease her than to end up so far away from Patsy, her wonderful Patsy.

  
Delia loved the idea of being able to sleep every night just a short walk away from her girlfriend, a situation she never thought would be hers. Not since that dreadful accident anyway. It wasn't perfect but Delia couldn't see how it would ever be perfect for her and Patsy, she'd always been taught to appreciate that something is always better than nothing. At least she'd get to see Patsy every day, sit next to her at the dinner table and watch television together on nights off. Small luxuries that would never be appreciated by someone who hadn't been in their position. Infinitely better than having to steal moments at a cafe. Although, Delia couldn't help her mind wandering about the blackmail she could offer to Trixie to convince her she wanted to trade rooms.

  
"Delia? Are you awake?"

  
The nurse jumped a little, she hadn't intended to drift off to sleep. She watched as a figure crept into her room and heard the lock turn gently. The silhouette was almost dancing with giddiness as it crossed the room. The purple night light on her table wasn't necessary to identify the parma violet scented perfume drifting towards her, but Delia never turned down an opportunity to lay her eyes on Patsy. It dawned on her that she had never seen Patsy in her nightwear, the one night they had in the flat they had both fallen asleep fully clothed. Striped pyjamas and pigtails were somehow not what she expected but entirely Patsy, therefore entirely perfect. The redhead crept closer and sank her body down onto the bed, silently insisting on some room on the bed.

  
"Hi." Delia whispered, suddenly shy.

  
She was in a convent in a fully buttoned nurse's uniform for goodness sake, yet she had never felt so exposed to her love. Freckles dotted Patsy's nose like the constellations her grandfather had taught her to identify in the clear unblemished night sky of Pembrokeshire. It had been so long since she had seen her girlfriend without immaculately applied panstick. Her fingers were tracing the marks and joining the dots before her brain realised she was going to do it, eliciting a sighed laugh from Patsy.

  
"We're all alone Delia." Patsy seemed unsure about what volume her voice should be at in the situation. "How long has it been since that happened?"

  
"317 days." Delia blurted out quicker than she would have liked, as soon as the jigsaw pieces of her memories had begun to connect she had begun counting everything. Quantifying every aspect of her life, hoping that numbers would be less likely to slip through the cracks of her consciousness.

  
Patsy began chewing her bottom lip at the thought of all that had happened in that time.

  
"We're here Deels. Under the same roof, after everything we've had to deal with. Everything we've been through. It's a new start."

  
Delia watched the shift in her periwinkle eyes, lighting up with excitement as she continued talking.

  
"We get to see each other every day, you can be the first person I speak to in a morning and the last at night. We can listen to records and watch TV shows and argue over silly things and then at night I can come here and I can talk to you and we can pretend that its the flat again but nothing can really stop us this time. We've got this whole future ahead of us Deels, even beyond Nonnatus. We got a second chance that we get to run with, its just so...so..."  
"Exciting." Delia finished. "I can't wait for everything life throws at us, Patience."

  
Patsy brushed her finger tips across her sweetheart's forehead, brushing away a strand of brunette that had escaped from the rapidly collapsing ponytail. There was something about the animated glint in those eyes and the grin that Patsy always thought was a little too wide but it was perfect nonetheless. Most people were only treated to the rational, calm, often brusque Patsy Mount but this side of her, running away with her thoughts, was a treat that Delia felt selfish keeping to herself. Delia found herself becoming acutely aware of her touch and how close their lips were.

  
"How long as it been, Delia, since I've been close enough to kiss you?"

  
"317 days." Delia breathed, holding Patsy's steady eye contact.

  
It was the redhead who broke the gap first, capturing Delia's bottom lip between hers. Delia deepened the kiss and slipped a hand into her girlfriend's pyjama top, resting it on her waist. Patsy gasped, this was unchartered territory, they had wasted their opportunity in the flat because they had believed they had so much time. Delia could have taken it further but she was content where she was, this was the start of their new adventure and this time they really did have all the time in the world.

  
***

  
Happy Pats

  
The balance of a nursing career, beginning training as a midwife, and volunteering for the St John's Ambulance was exhausting at the best times, and the fatigue that remained from Delia's accident never helped. The Welsh nurse had curled up in bed with her murder mystery novel earlier than she normally would whilst Patsy had remained in her own room with Trixie, Barbara and Phyllis. One of the best things Delia had found about living at Nonnatus was actually less of a desperation to see her girlfriend. She knew that there was always going to be the next day, no need to hurriedly grasp every single available moment.

"Deeeeeeeeeeeeeelia? Deeeeeeels?"

  
Delia was dragged out of the final interrogation of the fictional subject by a giggling hurricane making its way into her room, taking at least three attempts to lock the door and knocking over a plastic vase of flowers. Patsy leant casually against Delia's dresser, in a clear but futile attempt to appear nonchalant.

  
"What on earth are you doing?" Delia had reluctantly put down her book on a cliffhanger and looped her arm through Patsy's. "What drink did Phyllis treat you to tonight?"

  
"Brandy Alexanders. I only had one I promise Deels, or maybe I had a few more." Delia couldn't hold back laughter. It had been years since Delia had seen her girlfriend so totally, well, shitfaced. She had a reputation at the nurses home for being more than able to hold a strong drink and she was known to choose a double Scotch over a Babycham any day of the week, but the woman could not resist going overboard with a particularly tasty cocktail.

  
"I think it might have been in the 'few more' category, love." Delia moved her hands away from her arm and instead placed them both on Patsy's hips as the redhead swayed from side to side.

  
"I love love love love love you Deels, do you know that? You have to know that!" The usually clipped and proper voice had descended into sing song, slurring over the trickier parts of each word.

  
"Shhhhh, Pats. I know you do, I love you too." Delia had lowered her tone to a whisper, trying to encourage the other woman to do the same. She couldn't have their secret outed through drunken rowdiness.

  
Patsy reached out to stroke Delia's hair, falling into another fit of giggles as she put her hand back in her own heavily lacquered beehive. "Your hair is so soft. Mine is so hard, why is my hair so crunchy?"

  
'Good grief'. Delia thought. 'I suppose this is what happens when you drink with an ex-alcoholic, a teetotaller and a woman more interested in discussing the day than actually drinking.' Delia would have been quite surprised if there was any brandy left in the bottle at all. She half led, half carried Patsy to her bed, sitting her down on the edge and then sitting down close to her.

 

"It's all so good isn't it Delia?"

  
Once Delia had begun to uncover Patsy's past, her style of drunkenness confused her. She thought it would've made more sense for her to descend into a much darker place after a few drinks, but drunk Patsy was honestly the happiest human being on the planet.

  
"I have my best person, so many people don't get their person. And now we get to be together every day, ,and we're going to live together, and one day we're going to get married, and then we're going to have baby Pats and Deels, and its going to be so so so good."

She finally paused for breath,face flushed with joy.  
Her hand suddenly reached out to a bemusedly smiling Delia, cupping her cheek and pulling her into a kiss without warning. The welsh nurse melted into her girlfriend's affection, her heart hammering in her chest.

  
"Darling, you're drunk." She said, forcing herself to pull away and resenting the coldness that replaced Patsy's lips. "Let's get you to bed."

  
Delia pulled off Patsy's sensible work shoes, reasoning that the effort it would take to replace her dress with pyjamas would be far more than it would actually be worth. She gently guided her into the bed itself and tucked her into the duvet, placing a soft kiss on her temple. Patsy continued talking nonsense as she swiftly drifted off to sleep, that silly smile still plastered on her face.

  
***

  
Sad Pats

  
Bloody hairpins. Delia stubbornly tried to press in yet another pin to her tightly formed bun, prodding it firmly into her own thumb.

  
"Delia dear? The London just called to tell me that they're having some extra student nurses in this afternoon, so you won't be required for your shift." Sister Julienne was stood at the open door, ever cautious of privacy.

"Thank you for telling me Sister, I'll finally get to finish my book."

  
The nun departed with a final warm smile, leaving Delia silently rejoicing at her good luck. She knew that Patsy would be finishing her morning rounds in precisely 35 minutes,and she was also well acquainted with the hungover version of her girlfriend. Perks of being in a relationship with a nurse,she had sent her off to work with a tall glass of water and a decent swig of Alka-Seltzer but she knew it wouldn't fully do the trick. Patsy was a woman of extremes when it came to alcohol, her euphoric happiness was juxtaposed by the melancholy that followed the next morning. Delia had always reasoned that it was all the emotions she soberly bottled up making their escape. At least she had a little time to finish the book Patsy had slightly ruined the night before.

  
"Hello." Delia's favourite midwife trailed into her room and closed the door behind her, turning around to reveal her glum expression. She flopped down on Delia's bed, always treating it as her own,and sighed heavily.

  
"How was your shift?" Delia inquired, trying to get into Patsy before she started shutting her out.

  
"Routine checks on Georgina Frances, Rosa Ramirez, Allison Beaumont and Josie Smith. Everything was good."

  
Patsy's voice was steady and even, but slow and considered in a way that suggested keeping it that way was difficult. She smiled weakly at Delia before lying down properly on the bed on her back. The brunette ran her fingertips along Patsy's arm, settling at her hand and intertwining their fingers. There was nothing she could do to lift Patsy's spirits but be there, lie beside her and hold her hand.

  
"Does this make you sad?" Patsy whispered, after several minutes of silence.

  
Neither of them moved. "What do you mean sad, sweetheart?"

  
"You know, having to creep around the place like we're dirty, like we're criminals. I can't show you off as the girl I love. Its been 5 years, if you were a man you'd be my husband by now. It's not fair."

  
Delia looked over to the redhead beside her. Her face was still entirely blank, staring at the small crack just above window frame.

  
"Yes Pats, it kills me that I can't shout from the rooftops about you. Getting back my memory of you was followed so quickly by remembering why I couldn't ask Mam about you, the gap between those memories was so nice."

  
"Why do we put ourselves through it Deels? Wouldn't it be easier to pretend to not feel the way we do, find some acceptable man?"

  
"This is why, Patience." Delia placed her hand over Patsy's heart whilst still holding hers, pressing her body as close to her girlfriend as was possible. "We get to have each other. I'm always yours and you're always mine, we're in each other's hearts. One day it'll just be completely normal for us to feel this way, maybe we'll even get the chance to get married some day. But even if nobody ever knew about us, we're the part that matters. And anyway, you can't possibly think a husband would be able to fix your hair, know when you need some chocolate and an asprin and pick out a brilliant outfit as well as I do?"

  
Patsy finally broke out into a smile, kissing Delia on the cheek. "Why do you have to be bloody right all the time?"

  
***

  
Troubled Pats

  
Her bed was moving. Delia's eyes snapped awake at the shuddering motion, her hands immediately coming into contact with the shaking body huddled next to her.

  
"Patsy?" Delia shot up and flicked on the light,coming straight back down to her girlfriend's side. Patsy was hugging her knees to her chest, silently sobbing into Delia's spare pillow. Delia couldn't really work out if she was awake or not, and if she was lost in that deep dark abyss of the past then there often wasn't much of a difference. She had seen the darker side of Patsy many times, emotionally shutting down any time she was faced with a reminder of the life she left behind, but this was the first night time visit and the first time that Delia had seen it anywhere near this bad. Not that she was naive enough to think it hadn't ever been this bad, Patsy skills at her disguising her trauma were probably limitless.

  
"Shhh cariad. I'm here, you're safe." Her girlfriend was falling apart and honestly Delia felt completely useless. All she could find herself doing was rubbing slow circles on her back, hiding how much it hurt her heart to feel the welts from the past still slightly raised on her skin.

  
"Delia?" Neither of them knew how long it had been by the time Pasty spoke, strangled like a very small person trapped in a body. She sat up quickly, crossing her arms and legs, closing herself in as always and pretending nothing had happened.

  
"I should be heading back to my room..." She sighed, standing up. Her fists were balled up tight, an effort to pretend she wasn't still shaking.

  
"Don't leave," Delia pleaded, largely ignored by the redhead heading for the door. She couldn't bear the thought of her going back to her room alone. "Please Pats?"

  
Patsy's face softened a little and she sat back down on the edge of the bed, hands clasped in her lap and eyes directed solidly at the floor. Delia knew there was no way her troubled girlfriend was about to start opening up and knew that a hug or anything now would just close her in more so started talking instead, anything to keep Patsy with her.

  
"Patsy I know what you were thinking about, of course it's still with you. You don't have to pretend you're not hurting because I know you are, no matter what you say. And that's valid. Acting like it's not real doesn't help, my darling."

  
"My feelings are not your burden, Deels." Patsy shook her head, still refusing to look Delia in the face.

  
"Cariad, I'm your girlfriend. The things that trouble you are entirely my concern. I know I can't fix everything, but I'm here and if you let me in then you at least don't have to face everything alone."

  
Patsy sniffed and finally looked towards Delia, words coming out slightly sharper than intended. "Why would you want that?"

  
The small amount of hurt swallowed for the moment, Delia gently touched Patsy's chin and brought her face to meet her eyes.

  
"I love you more than anything else in the world, Patience Mount. Every part of you. Honestly."

  
Every part of Patsy, that Delia loved so much, allowed herself to fall into her girlfriend's arms knowing for a fact that she was loved, she was accepted, she was home.

  
***

  
_But I love all of those girls._


End file.
